A while ago I posted screenshots of a conversation I’d had with the founder of UKGrime.com. Long story short, Scorpio (the guy) asked me to make a website and wanted to meet to discuss the details. “Great” I thought. More work, more money. He then suggested we meet at his, to which I replied that I’d rather meet in a cafe. After all, I’d never met the man so for all I know he could have been dangerous and I don’t believe someone’s home is a suitable place for a business meeting unless you’ve already established a relationship with them. He then reassured me that he had a kettle and wifi at his, which is when I explained my reasoning behind meeting in a cafe. My explanation was met with silence. I few days later, I unfollowed him. I then refollowed him recently as I saw the site was up and offering paid opportunities (I forgive some air for money). The following conversation was then initiated before he blocked me (yes, he blocked me! The cheek!). I took screenshots and tweeted it all out. It was totally unprofessional, and considering how many people I’m connected with are also connected with him, I felt they all deserved to know what kind of person he is. It received quite a few retweets and responses and it got me thinking about how life in the music industry is for a women.
This guy wanted a website and wanted to meet to discuss at his. I asked to meet in a cafe and now I get this? lol pic.twitter.com/OlgMztbmPz
— 🖤 (@AyshBanaysh) April 23, 2015
We all know the music industry can tough for female artists (cue Lily Allen’s Hard Out Here), but what about businesswomen?
This Scorpio fella isn’t the first to approach me in this manner. I’d never approach a man I was going to do business with on a sexual vibe, whether I was single or not. When guys do this to me, I’m forced to choose between turning a blind eye for the sake of getting some work or blocking them in favour of my morals, my anger levels and my boyfriend. I hate that I’m forced to make that decision and potentially turn down paid work when if they’d acted professionally I wouldn’t have to. I wish all business come packaged a little more professionally. I’m all up for getting to know people and casual chit chat, but if a business relationship will at most progress to friendship (and that’s only if the business goes well).
At times, people make comments of how I achieve certain things purely due to being a woman. Whether it’s regarding work opportunities, interaction on social media or something as simple as compliments on my work. It can be pretty disheartening as I don’t want my work to be recognised purely due to what’s between my thighs. I want to achieve things and be recognised because I worked hard (which I do).
I know I work hard and deserve to do well based on that, but the fact that what I’ve achieved could be mostly down to just being female always niggles at me in the back of my mind. It does encourage me to work harder, but it also makes me think less of anything I do achieve.
I’d like to know if anyone else has been told/felt like this in the music industry or if they’ve had problems with male clients getting too comfortable, so drop a comment below, tweet me or Facebook me- let’s talk.