Actually Autistic With ADHD: Getting An Adult Assessment, Late Diagnosis & The Mourning After

Actually Autistic With ADHD: Getting An Adult Assessment, Late Diagnosis & The Mourning After

About This Video

In this video I discuss the process of getting an Autism & ADHD assessment as an adult, the results and report and some of my thoughts post diagnosis.

This all happened in late 2021. I meant to film this video before Christmas and didn’t get to it until January and then still didn’t finish editing it until February! Writing it was the easy part, filming it was heavy but editing it was even worse.

I am still not happy with it and it isn’t exactly what I set out to make and I cringe so much watching it but I do not wanna reshoot or reedit because it’s been on my plate so long I just need to get it off.

I haven’t made the hub of resources I wanted to make yet, but I’d rather do it right than rush it or delay this video just to have them in sync. It’s turned into something a little bigger than I first imagined.

Why I Sought An Autism And ADHD Assessment

If you haven’t seen my previous videos or posts, I sought an adult autism assessment after my BPD diagnosis was suspected to be a misdiagnosis (and that what had been seen as BPD was Autism).

I was on the NHS waiting list for an assessment at the Maudsley as there were no adult autism services in my borough. After staring uni this year and some other difficulties I was having, I made the decision to seek a private assessment and after a lot of searching, deciding on places and changing my mind I ended up going with The Effra Clinic in London.

Once I knew I was going to uni and I wouldn’t get an NHS appointment until like halfway through uni, I thought that it was best to seek a private assessment. What I didn’t know is that universities actually do a lot of work around these conditions and could probably have helped with getting an assessment. Unfortunately it was a bit late by the time I got to uni and realised these things.

I went for the joint assessment for Autism and ADHD as I’ve had psychiatrists in the past disagree about ADHD and me, and that left me feeling confused and incompetent. I thought a joint assessment would give me a little clarity on that, and since they were bundled together it didn’t make sense not to seek it.

Together they were £2600 (in the joint assessment bundle), but if you are looking to go private yourself keep in mind I live in London and from what I’ve seen these assessments are on the whole cheaper outside of the city. I did think about seeking assessment where I grew up, but it just seemed like it would be more faff so I paid the price for convenience.

The Effra Clinic is run by psychiatrists who met at the Maudsley

The team at The Effra Clinic is also connected to the Maudsley, so that made me feel like I could trust them to be thorough and trust their practice to be respected and was part of the reason I picked it.

I was also able to ask to only see female clinicians (which I really appreciated) because I thought I would mask a lot more around men and it would be easier for me to talk to a woman.

Preparing For My Adult Autism And ADHD Assessment

I had already spent most of the year consuming various content on autism. YouTube is how first ever suspected autism in the first place (but it was not my only resource obviously). I had also been working closely with my therapist to use this information to better inform my decisions and lifestyle ever since she had vocalised her disagreement with my past (BPD) diagnosis.

In preparation for the autism assessment I gathered various medical letters, psychiatry letters and school reports for the clinic. I found this felt really daunting and I put it off for a while. It’s a bit like wanting to go for a wonder down memory lane, except memory lane is a painful place. As it can be a bit tedious and overwhelming as well as potentially triggering or nostalgic I’d do this ASAS (as soon as safe) to get it out the way.

Another thing that I found useful is noting down when I identified with ‘autistic traits’ and how felt I met each part of the criteria (and what past and present evidence there was for that). I was also sending some of the content I consumed to my parents so they could better their understanding and take notes.

I’d also say it’s important to think about traits you may have had in childhood but have eradicated either through masking, coping mechanisms or some other means.

Often you can even give these notes to the assessment team. I also made a list of key events in my life as I had moved around and moved schools a lot as well as having past traumas. I made this just using a simple table and just writing bullet points of key things that happened in each year of my life (such as moving home, moving schools, mental health crisis and traumatic experiences).

I felt like it was important for me to assert the chronology of events as in the past I’ve had a lot of my struggles blamed on trauma, despite their pre-trauma existence. While past trauma can be life and brain changing, I don’t think it’s the only reason I struggle and the focus on it has been really unhelpful.

The clinicians that carry out these assessments these days are a lot more aware of masking and will understand that you may be anxious during your assessment, so having notes you can hand over to fill in the gaps is pretty accepted as far as I know. For me I often mask (as you can see in much of the above video) and I know it’s something I’ve often done when I’ve eventually come face to face with many psychiatrists.

Like No it’s fine. I’m fine *smiles*

Outside of admin stuff, I tried to watch videos from people post assessment or giving assessment advice but I didn’t help as much as I’d hoped. I think I understand why now though. I thought I wanted to make a fully fledged video giving you a complete guide to an adult autism assessment, but having done it I think anything too detailed could potentially jeopardise the assessment (I think)

It’s an interesting topic. I was speaking with someone in the know about what assessors are looking for, who also wanted to seek an assessment, and wasn’t sure how it would affect things.

That’s lead me to think it’s probably a good idea to keep some things under wraps, so if some detail is lacking now you know why!

Uni also helped me pass the time while waiting for my assessment because I started in September and my assessment started mid-October. It helped distract me while I was waiting and I also started to read some books (although finishing any of them has been less successful).

The Autistic. Brain By Temple Grandin (cover)

At the moment I’m reading The Autistic Brain By Temple Grandin and I have bought many others, but I just don’t put reading in my routine enough (which is something I am trying to fix).

Present Day Aysh: This is particularly interesting now as I’m doing the cognitive and developmental psychology model of my degree. I am also doing better with routine reading!

I do want to make a bit of a hub of things I’ve read and found or recommend on this journey, but I just haven’t gotten around to it yet.

There was also a book I saw on Amazon the other day I wished I’d read pre-assessment. It was Label Me: The Journey Towards An Autism Diagnosis by Francesca Baird. I still have not read this book so can’t recommend it, but the rating seemed decent (4.6/5 when I looked) so it might be worth looking into if you’re pre-assessment or the title resonates with you. I am only mentioning it because I wish I’d seen it before.

Hopefully I will get round to reading it towards the summer when I’m more caught up with my current list.

I didn’t really prepare for my ADHD assessment because

  1. It’s more straight forward
  2. I’ve done it before
  3. It wasn’t my priority

Most videos I watched beforehand about ADHD were more about how to cope with and techniques to manage ADHD (so more behavioural things) rather than information on ADHD. At the time I didn’t really feel I needed it, I had always felt like I was fairly clued up on ADHD compared to the average ADHDer.

When I look back on that I realise, knowing what I know now, that there was a lot more I could have done to help myself in that aspect if I’d looked into it more. Although I think starting a psychology degree has now enabled me to do this more easily and enables me to better understand both autism and ADHD.

I think for a while I was in a bit of a shame spiral with my ADHD anyway and just thinking it was all in my head after having my problems seen and identified and then later having them dismissed and minimised. The whole experience made me really question myself.

Present Day Aysh: Looking back I am so glad I got a joint assessment as I think the two can affect each other and it is probably beneficial for the clinician to be aware that both might be present. Before I was suspected autistic though this obviously couldn’t be the case.

Going into my assessment I thought the autism was a sure thing and it was the ADHD diagnosis I didn’t think I’d get. I thought maybe what’s been seen as ADHD is actually autism because there is some crossover and cross-camouflaging and I thought maybe that common area has kind of been misinterepretted.

Basically I went into this assessment being very confident that I was autistic. I wasn’t 100% confident, but that’s mostly because I doubt myself. In reasoned theory, it seemed pretty clear that I was autistic (and not just to me). It was just a little voice in my head going “Well, maybe you’re not” that kept the doubt alive, as well as the feeling of needing a specialised medical practitioner to confirm it since I am not one.

Part of me always doubted myself and just thought “What if I’m wrong?” and all the things that made autism make sense now make sense for no reason.

Present Day Aysh: Studying psychology and being neurodivergent has definitely has its conflicts. Here’s some food for thought on neurodiversity and the pathologisation of neutral neurological differences.

The last thing to do before my assessment was fill out pre-assessment questionnaires. These were for me and my parents to do and they covered a fairly decent range of ‘symptomology’ like depression, anxiety, autism, ADHD and OCD (and maybe some more). They were quite thorough too.

My Adult Autism & ADHD Assessment

This whole assessment was partially online and partially face to face. It consisted of a few different sessions with different people

While I am going to try not to go too in-depth about the actual assessments and what they measure as I don’t think its a good idea to be overly prepared as if you know what to expect completely your responses, facial expressions etc. may not be what they’d typically be, I do want to give you a decent overview if I can.

A couple of days before my assessment I came down with Fresher’s Flu which lead to an ear infection. The dates were given to me months ago and I didn’t realise I could say I wasn’t well and reschedule at the time so I didn’t tell the clinic. I thought it was all fixed and like court like if I’m not seriously ill I should probably attend because it was for something I saw as official.

The night before the first session my ear was so painful and I couldn’t sleep much. I didn’t realise until the morning that my eardrum had burst, leaving me unable to hear out of one ear. It was a pretty shitty way to start to say the least.

I think the fact that it was online made it a little harder in my condition as I needed to face the camera for their observation but I wanted to point my good ear to it instead because even that felt stuffy from the freshers’ flu.

It was a little bit difficult and I was still in pain that day so it was really hard to hear and act naturally, but I just let them know so they could keep that in mind.

Psychiatric Review

The first session was a psychiatric review up was a psychiatric review, which if you’re not familiar is a pretty standard review of your mental health, your wellbeing and any important history.

It was a while ago now and it’s my fault for taking so long to make the video, but I do remember getting stuck on a few questions (partially because I was ill and partially just out of anxiety).

I got stuck on my daily struggles and felt like a complete doughnut, but I just made a list and gave it to them in my own time without the pressure (time, metaphorical and in my ear). With that I’d suggest making some notes on anything you think you might be asked about or should tell them. If you’ve had a psychiatric review before you can use that as a bit of a basis of what to expect.

This session wasn’t really focused on autism or ADHD, but more about painting a picture of me and my mental health for the team (I think).

I didn’t mean to mask, but I think being ill definitely made me mask more throughout this whole day. I often find when I’m ill or in pain I feel the need to act like I’m fine, especially for something ‘official’ like this. I don’t feel like I gave as much information in my answers as I could have done, despite wanting to make it easier for them to do their job. It’s like all my mental preparation had turned to mucus.


Later that day I had another online session for my DIVA assessment, which is basically an interview about ADHD.

I’ve had this done before but never as thoroughly as this. Before it’s been a lot more like doing a questionnaire, without much room to elaborate or discuss. Some of the questions are quite basic and if you have been living with ADHD your whole life you have likely developed some coping strategies to overcome some of the challenges you face on the day-to-day.

For example, I don’t lose my keys because if was still losing my keys at this point in my life when I live alone I would be fucked. I have built in really rigid coping mechanisms to cope around this, such as never taking two steps in my house with my keys. I also have spare sets that are kept in other very specific places with other people (I used to even carry spare ones in my bag in case the ones in my pocket got lost).

I have lost my keys so many times in the past the my anxiety around the thought of it fuels my ability to stick to these simple but effective coping mechanisms on most days, taking other aspects of ADHD into account (such the importance of being able to see what needs your attention, so the main key bowl is the first thing I see as I walk in the front door).

I still sometimes miss it, but my anxiety around it means if I later on notice my keys further inside the flat I spring up and put them away.

In this session I felt like the interviewer really took their time to make it more of a discussion and allowed me to explain how I’ve coped around certain things and the struggles I faced before and how I have managed my ADHD over the years. I really appreciated the ability to just be open without shame or judgment and I feel like it enabled me to give more in my answers.

There are some things that aren’t going to apply to me because of the life I live, but this open format enabled me to give equivalent examples. In the past I’ve had experiences of this assessment where I’ve not been able to elaborate on those things. I also felt more able to give more examples from my childhood that they don’t necessarily have a box for.


The ADI is an autistic diagnostic interview with your parents and it was one of the longest of the sessions of the whole process.

It is essentially just someone asking your parents about your developmental history and childhood as well as present day to identify autistic traits in your early years. These may be more if you have the ability to mask as you’ve got older, or they may be less (but still clearly present) if symptoms had not fully manifested. Some difficulties and differences may not have been clear in childhood if you were never confronted with them.

This session ended up actually getting rescheduled because the clinician was ill and I got so stressed about the plan changing and the realisation that you were allowed to be ill. It only got postponed a couple of days though – not a big deal just not part of the plan either.

My parents had been aware and supportive of me seeking an assessment and had made their own notes beforehand of notable developmental history or behaviour from my childhood and any autistic traits they’d noticed and when.

I had been sending them some of the content I had been consuming throughout last year to make it easier for them to understand autism itself, not how autism is seen by society.

Autism is a neurodevelopmental condition, so getting a diagnosis relies pretty heavily on being able to evidence autistic traits in childhood, so if you’re seeking assessment try and get your parents to make some notes if you can or engage in discussion with them.

If your parents aren’t ones to take notes themselves but are willing to engage in these discussions, maybe you could take notes for them.

If your parents aren’t on board I am not really sure what to suggest at this time. The assessment is heavily reliant on them as far as I know.

I was very anxious about the ADI assessment as both my parents worked full-time when I was young and I spent a lot of time with nannies meaning they did not always see everything. On top of that, I worried about my parents forgetting to mention the things they did see, even if we’d discussed it being worth mentioning.

I was really lucky in that once my mum saw the autism, she wrote a long document of weird, wonderful and worrisome things I’d done in my life.

My favourites of these were refusing to be the birthday child for the entertainer at my own party and my difficulties toasting frozen bread… but I can make you a website in an afternoon.

But you know, on the other hand, I can make a website in an afternoon.

I don’t know how much of any of those actually related to autism, but it did make me laugh when I read through my mum’s notes.

My Dad also noted his own ADHD and potentially autistic traits and there are a lot of traits in my family, but that’s another story. I think him sharing his own traits with the team was valuable since both conditions are closely linked with genetics.


The next assessment was my ADOS which is an observation session. For me this was the most interesting of all the assessments (then again I do study psychology so it might not be that interesting). I quite enjoyed it!

I had to do some activities like you describe some pictures and tell some stories as well as answer some questions all while being observed. They observe your responses, the way you talk about things, your facial expressions, how you describe things and what you focus on etc.

It was quite interesting for sure. I was a little worried about this observation as I couldn’t find much information on the way they do it for adults. It was a mystery to me when I went in, but now it’s like a distant psychedelic dream (there will be no psychedelics to be very clear). While it was definitely one of the more unusual assessments – not like your standard depression questionnaire you get in mental health services – it was pretty enjoyable (as long as you remember you can’t be wrong and you just need to say what you think).

QBCheck (ADHD)

The next thing I did was a QBCheck. I got access to this with the pre-assessment questionnaires, but I hadn’t done it yet since I’d been ill.

The QBCheck is a computerised test that basically gets you to complete a boring task for 20 minutes while measuring things like your attention, impulsivity and hyperactivity through (simply put) right and wrong responses as well as movement using the webcam.

It looked quite interesting at first, but after the practice test I realised it was going to be boring as fuck.

About The QBCheck

Essentially you complete the test and then turns your results into a load of graphs that it can compare with a age and gender matched control group as well as an ADHD control group to allow for better understanding of the severity of symptoms.

This cannot be done on a tablet as far as i know so that’s worth noting if you’re asked to do one. My webcam on my laptop was broken, so I had to arrange to use my dad’s for the test. This is worth keeping in mind in terms of logistics.

The Final Assessment

The final assessment was with the psychiatrist who saw me initially for the psychiatric review. It was early on a Saturday morning and my day started terribly.

I was in a bad mood and it was raining and I had no idea if I would get any answers that day or if it would all be in the report (which I’d been told would be with me two weeks after the final assessment).

Thankfully my Dad was driving me so I didn’t have to stress about travel on the day. I didn’t originally want anyone to come with me but I was glad I asked him in the end as it was nice to have someone there and I think my day would have been a lot more stressful if I hadn’t. Having someone with me and getting a ride made getting to the appointment so much easier, especially for an early Saturday morning appointment in the rain in London.

My bad mood eased as I got there, but I do wish I had spent more time during this whole assessment making sure I was in an optimum place to do it. I have a tendency to try and just force myself to do things in non-optimum conditions rather than paying more attention to optimising the conditions for me to get it done efficiently and accessibly (which I have been doing more of now).

I think once I was ill for the first bit of my assessment I just gave up trying and by the time I got to the final assessment I just wanted it to be over. I didn’t feel I’d said everything I had been saving to say the whole year, but I also couldn’t really remember what that was (due to overwhelm).

When I got in to the final assessment in the process, it was established that I should get some answers that day if it was possible to give them which settled my anxiety a little. I did relax more but I was also preoccupied with thoughts about what was to come.

In this session I was asked more questions and filled in any gaps that had been missed and handed over any other notes or documents I had. It was a bit of a wrapping up session to tie up loose ends and discuss anything we hadn’t already. Since it was over two weeks since the process has started it also was an opportunity for me to think about anything I hadn’t said in previous sessions and bring some notes with me.

It’s a bit far back to remember much but even if I could I’m not sure what would be worth saying?

This whole process made me inhabit my anxiety for weeks By the time I got to my final assessment it felt so close to the end I just wanted it to be over.

And pretty soon it was. Eventually the psychiatrist stopped asking me questions and started answering mine…

A Is For Answers


Given that ADHD assessments had been completed long before this and they’re generally a lot more straightforward to interpret than Autism assessments, she started with that.

She confirmed that I had ADHD and she wasn’t in any doubt about that. She also noted that my difficulties had likely been dismissed in the past due to my intelligence and that it’s quite common.

I felt both validated and angry. I felt validated because she confirmed ADHD and I felt seen. And I felt angry because the confirmation of ADHD highlighted the dismissal of past psychiatrists, but saying that it did also make me fondly remember those that got it right.

While I had mixed feelings in the moment and it was a big deal, it also wasn’t a shock. I’ve known I’ve had ADHD since I was in college when I first learnt about it (after being unable to cope without the support of family and traditional school structure). It had never been a doubt in my mind then and being a decade ago and not long after I left school I had a strong ability to pinpoint it, despite my strong academic performance. This ADHD itself wasn’t what I had to come to terms with, it was more the emotions around past flip flopping.

Like What the fuck I’ve been on this wild goose chase thinking it’s not ADHD for no reason.

We also spoke briefly about managing ADHD, medication and conflicts. She also showed me the results of the QB Check too.

As for autism assessment, due to the sheer amount of information they collect and the way it’s assessed, the team needed a bit more time to go through it so I’d have to wait for the report.

The psychiatrist explained that there was some information lacking in places where my parents couldn’t remember things and that it may just be ADHD.

She also felt that, even if an ASD diagnosis was made in the report, ADHD appeared to be the more predominant of the two if both were present and that was contributing to more of my daily struggles. That was new to me as my therapist had suspected the opposite, so it was something to explore.

Post Assessment

After the assessment I went back to my Dad’s car and told him what had been said. He was really happy for me, but also understood my frustration. He said highlighted the benefit of having clarity now, but I was very hung up and confused about the autism side of things. That’s what I wanted clarity on.

My dad drove me home but my mind was still wrapped up in the appointment. i hadn’t followed any of the advice and planned something to do after because I didn’t know how I’d feel and I didn’t know what I’d want to do so I just didn’t decide. In the end I asked to go to ikea to take my mind off of it and that ended up being a really good distraction. We talked about it a bit more over the course of the day.

Getting The Report

And An Autism Diagnosis

The full report came about 10 days later and it felt like the longest 10 days ever.

A uni deadline was somewhat my saviour here as it forced me to focus on something else while I waited. I was still constantly checking for the report, but after the first week passed and I knew it would be with me within the next week (since they said it’d be two) so my anxiety started to ease a bit.

I also spent this time deepening my knowledge about ADHD to the same extent that I had done with Autism in order to better understand what the psychiatrist had said. I hadn’t thought I needed to do this before as I felt I was clued up enough, but it was not to the same depth because it hadn’t been the focus of my research. For those 10 days though it could be.

I hoped that if I understood ADHD more I’d be able to better understand why my psychiatrist felt that was the predominant condition affecting my life. I wanted to be able to see why she thought that and understand it more. My therapist had told me what when someone has both, one often takes predominance, so I knew that was a thing. I just wanted to understand why she thought the ADHD was predominant and I thought the key to doing that was getting a better understanding of ADHD itself.

The report came the day I stopped constantly checking for it. Despite the fact I’d been constantly checking for it, after the way my final assessment ended, I was convinced that there would be nothing to report.

But low and behold within this 14 page document was my ADHD diagnosis, my autism diagnosis and all the justification for them.

At first I was relieved to see it but then I read my report. Reading the report was quite sad because it’s quite literally documenting your difficulties, deficits and differences, plus any major trauma, on official headed paper.

I had heard this from watching videos from other autistics, so I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy read ahead of time.

The stars somehow aligned for me that day and the report came on my therapy day and I showed it to my therapist (who does these assessments in her day job).

She was very impressed and also happy to see that even though some of my scores were lower than you’d expect they’d taken note of masking and the criteria and assessments being based on a select demographic/their limitations in general (as well as info that could not be obtained during the process).

When I first started thinking about myself as autistic earlier in the year everything seemed to make more sense.

It was kind of like when you’re doing a puzzle and you find a few pieces that all have the same pattern on and you can tell they kind of go together. Now you have a certain thing to look for, you start finding more pieces and soon enough they start matching up and you get a piece of the picture.

But having it confirmed after such a thorough assessment, after the misdiagnosis and mistreatment, just made it all just fall together.

Like there were finally enough pieces of the puzzle in place that, even though they’re not all there, you can tell what the picture is.

I don’t mention puzzles because of Autism by the way, I mention them because I love analogies and I did a really cool puzzle over Christmas and I was thinking about it when I wrote this.

There are 101 hidden movies in this puzzle if you want to guess.

I don’t really get the whole we are a puzzle symbolism. Autism is by no means the puzzle, for me it felt more like the missing piece.

The Mourning After

And the plight before

When I talk about the mourning after, I am not referring to the first few hours of the next day, and I’m definitely not talking about mourning myself because I’ve been diagnosed with xyz (and xyz in issue)

When I talk about the mourning after, I’m talking about mourning my younger self.

That undiagnosed child that struggled and stressed and got in trouble and wept

That naive girl that took everyone at face value

That vulnerable teenager that moved out at 17

That trapped twenty-something that couldn’t handle the world

I mourned the life that I could have had if I’d known sooner, and paths I would have chosen for myself

I mourned myself for all the times I crucified her because she wasn’t good enough

But it was just my brain

The whole assessment process was so draining, but this sad cloud of mourning that hovered over me had me drowning in tears, and I thought I’d got them all out.

On the surface and on the whole I was so relieved to have answers and they made my life make so much sense, but underneath all that I was really sad and angry.

I also felt a lot of frustration that some of the more out of the ordinary things I had done in my younger years had not been taken more seriously or looked into. They’re notable enough to be remembered now after all, and some of them I’m sure will be remembered for life.

I have to just accept that this is when I knew and nothing was done then, and this is the life that happened.

But it is difficult. It is really difficult because it still hurts and I know it is illogical to not accept it (because I’ve done DBT), but I still often find myself thinking “What if? What if I’d known?” and I still often find myself frustrated that things weren’t flagged earlier, even in my mental health.

I have told my parents about the diagnoses, but I had not shared my report. I initially thought I’d want to, or that I had to, but I decided for myself that it was my choice to make, and right now I don’t see what I stand to gain.

There are multiple autism and adhd tendencies shared within my family, but no other diagnoses. However this does help explain why some things don’t get picked up on.

If you all do something as a family, it’s not going to be seen as weird (especially if you have an undiagnosed ND parent and that why you all do it).

If I’m being honest I do wish I’d had a bit more post-diagnosis support from my family, specifically in the form of using the knowledge to better inform interactions.

But I think one of the things with late diagnosis is that people have spent so long treating you like everyone else that, even though that often creates problems, they don’t feel such a need to adapt their behaviour to have better communication because you’ve coped with it this far without them doing it.

I did have a conversation on Twitter recently which reminded me that this is all a big deal for me and pretty small for everyone else though, so I might be expecting too much too soon.

As for my close friends they’ve been mostly supportive from the start bar one or two. It’s made a lot for things make more sense to them and also helped me have better relationships with many of them. I think it all comes down to better communication really and using the information to inform better communication.

I am still in the process of updating some things to do with uni, but other than that and anyone official that needs to know though I haven’t really told anyone else.

I guess I’ve kind of kept it a secret, but not out of shame. More out of being a slacker on YouTube/my blog and needing to give people some reason come back and whether or not I’ve been diagnosed with something is about as mysterious as I get.

While I now will not feel a need to keep it under wraps, I also don’t feel like everyone needs to know.

Much like not everyone needs to know your sexual orientation. Like you’re not ashamed, you’ll tell people if they ask or if it’s relevant but you don’t tell everyone you meet do you? or do you?

I guess it depends how much you feel that’s part of who you are and that’s the same with autism too.

For me, I don’t feel like it’s an everyone needs to know thing.

I used to feel a need for people to know I was different, not to stand out, but because I was scared if they didn’t and I got distressed or needed help that they’d need to know. Now I don’t feel such a need for that and I have my sunflower wristband and an Autism card if it really comes down to it.

I don’t actually feel I really got much time to sit with my thoughts on this. Like I’ve had time but I’ve had so much going on in my life my actual processing of everything kind of took a detour and then the holidays just dragged things out and took up some headspace too.

During that time I did start on Elvanse, a stimulant medication used to treat ADHD, but starting it in the holidays meant I wasn’t really in my normal routine so it wasn’t the best time to adjust to something like that. Honestly medication is a whole other topic I don’t really want to get into right now, but I wanted to give it a quick mention.

I wanted to make this post before it becomes so far in the past I forget it all and also just to get it off my plate.

It’s definitely not an extensive account of my thoughts post diagnosis, but it’s a an overview of the process and a few of them.

I think over the next few months I will process things more and learn more about how autism relates to my life and further my work with my therapist on making my life more autism and ADHD friendly, and then perhaps follow up again in a few months when I’ve had more time to process and see how these diagnoses related to my life.

But for now I’m looking to make some easier, lighter content on some other topics that you will hopefully enjoy and find useful!

If you have any questions about all this riff raff, drop a comment below and I’ll answer if I can. You can also subscribe to this blog if you somehow enjoyed reading this ramble.

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