When most women think about anal sex, they tend to associate it with pain and discomfort. Some haven’t tried it and are assuming, and some are speaking from experience.
When the idea of anal sex was first proposed by my ex boyfriend about a year into our relationship, I wanted to run about a thousand miles. I’m tiny, and the thought of his dick in my ass seemed scary as fuck to say the least. “Just try it, if you don’t like it that’s fine.” he said. Okay okay, that seemed fair enough. All I had to do is try. And so, the journey of being fucked in my ass began. After all the pain, disgust and even shit stains (yes, it can get messy), I’ve actually come to enjoy anal sex more than vaginal sex, so here’s a guide on how you can get past the initial pain and fear and relish the completely magical feeling of anal orgasms too.
Note: This guide aims to show you how to make having anal with your partner/someone you’re seeing over a period of time virtually painless, one night stands/spur of the moment anal may benefit from these tips, but will probably still be uncomfortable.
Make sure you want it
If you’re not super raging horny, the first few times are probably going to fucking suck. Get him to eat you out a little bit first (or whatever gets you going). If you don’t really want to do it, don’t do it. You’ll probably hate it.
Take a trip to the loo
Don’t want a horror story of shit stains and poo on the floor? Poo about an hour before you have anal and make sure you’re fully empty. You may thinking being empty enough is fine, but that little bit that you couldn’t get out will come out in a semi-liquid form when he pulls out if you don’t push it out now. I also recommend using an anal douche to clean out anything left over.
Not empty? If it’s you’re new to anal (which I assume you are), wait and try later. I also suggest you don’t have anal after eating as if it takes some time you may find you feel like you need to go again and you may experience some stomach pains.
It’s a good idea to go to the toilet after anal too. You may think it’s just gas (and it might be), but chances are you’ve got a little golden nugget trying to escape, and you can finally let it. Note: You should probably stay close to the toilet for the next few hours… just in case.
Use plenty of lube
Yes, all the sites say this and they’re completely right. Plenty of lube is essential. You can get special anal lubes that relax/slightly desensitise your butthole to minimise any discomfort. Thicker lubes don’t dry out as quickly, so if you’re repulsed by it’s gloopy feel, you should probably be using it. I’d also recommend getting a lube syringe in order to insert lube into your bum as I found that actually trying to get the penis in my arse caused a lot of the lube put on the dick to come off, so by the time it was in it wasn’t really enough. It worked for a while and then began to burn. Having lube inside you also seems to make insertion easier as your partner’s path is then already lubricated. Just don’t put too much (and I mean too much, still be generous) in because that made my butt feel terrible.
Work your way up
For me, preparation for anal came way (we’re talking months) before anal. First came the fingering my bum with a bit of spit. I was very reluctant at first, but after a while it became a normal, comfortable, and even nice feeling… until your partner forgets to cut their nails of course. Not long after, I got a present in the form of 3 butt plugs. Shit just got real. The butt plugs were in three sizes and while the smallest didn’t look particularly daunting, it didn’t look like it’d be particularly comfortable either. We popped it in, and worked up to the medium sized plug (with plenty of lube) which was a little smaller than my ex’s penis, and therefore seemed like it would be the best indicator of what I was in for. It hurt like hell to put in and felt terribly uncomfortable, I took it out almost immediately and it felt like I was pooping (I wasn’t). Now remember, butt plugs are super smooth and, with a bit of lube, will glide in almost gracefully. However, dicks do not possess the same smooth, graduated shape and the tip is the widest worst part. When he first put the tip in, it was pretty uncomfortable, but that was expected. With time, the small butt plug became a tease, the medium one to this day is still mildly uncomfortable to put in, but once it’s in it’s fine (and same with the penis really- the tip is still the hardest part, but once it’s in we’re all good). I haven’t even unwrapped the larger one and don’t think I ever will, it looks like it’d be a good weapon in the event of a burglary though. Now, while I worked my way up over the course of a few months, you should try and do the same even if it’s only over the course of one evening.
Open the door for each visit
Yup, your backdoor. I recommend sitting with a medium sized butt plug in for 20 minutes to half an hour before getting down to it. You can still play with each other during this time, but it helps open up your hole and makes insertion a breeze. Before I started doing this I did everything else in this article, but anal was still discomforting and sometimes painful. It wasn’t until I started opening up pre-sex that I really started to enjoy and appreciate anal and all the wild orgasms it gave me. It’s a bit tedious, but it’s the safest bet to pain-free sex.
Start on your side
When you’re experiencing discomfort, the last thing you want to do is move, especially towards the thing sparking your feelings of discomfort. While most guides seem to suggest starting in doggy, I recommend you start on your side, relax and let him do the work while you get used to the sensation. Spooning also brings you closer, so you might feel more comforted if you’re that way inclined (a little bitch). I’d recommend trying this to completion a few times before trying out different positions. Even now, I usually start on my side to reacquaint myself with the feeling before moving into another position. Plus, who doesn’t get a raging lady boner with neck kisses? No matter what position you choose, do it on a towel. If there are any accidents, you can just chuck it in the wash after (just like period sex).
Take it slow
You will not be able to re-act an anal porno on your first try. Take it slow and make sure he’s not trying to break the speed limit. If he is despite what you say, give up. He cares more about getting off than about you. If you want to be able to control the speed, get on top. In time, you can pick up speed, just be careful not to go too fast/deep before you’re ready.
Play with yourself
You might need a little extra help when it comes to anal (pun intended). Rubbing your clit during anal sex produces a sensation that I can only describe as magical, so put those fingers to work.
Before you know it, it’s all said and done. You’ve cum, he’s cum, you probably feel slightly dick drunk. You’ve had one (or several) of the most amazing orgasms of your life and you’ve tried something new. You can tell all your friends about it in your groupchat and sleep soundly at night knowing you’re encouraging more women to seek out better orgasms. That and you’re probably gonna get buttfucked this weekend. Mission accomplished.